Do you feel stagnant in life? Like you have lost a sense of direction and purpose? What an intimidating mental place to be in, huh? It’s all too easy to fall victim to a cycle of doubt, overwhelm, anxiety, and even resentment when pivoting from the distress of a lifestyle you once genuinely loved.
I can relate to you because I’m going through it myself.
As I read more books, do more research, listen to more podcasts, and surround myself with more inspiring people, I’m constantly hit with the realization that I have so much growth ahead of me. That can be both empowering and frustrating, depending on how you look at it.
Uncovering how wounded I am due to childhood trauma, healing from that trauma, and navigating the contents of my future as a college drop-out have forced me to be patient. I’ve been forced to slow down, look deep within, and face my true self. You can only run so far trying to distract yourself with senseless busyness before the universe turns you right back around to clean up the clutter of your past.
“But you’re so young! You have so much time to figure things out…”
When does that excuse no longer apply? At what point does society segway over into, “She should have her life together by now”? It’s quite funny how subjective this whole experience of life is.
If you’re multi-passionate like me, you can probably relate: we have various deep interests in the most obscure micro-topics that seem to have no correlation, yet we’re told to “niche down” and get good at just one thing. I’m sorry, but that feels like cutting off a limb to me. When you’ve been born with an unconventional spirit, it can feel like a blessing and a curse. What I refuse to do, however, is sacrifice the essence of who I am to fit in. I’ve never fit in and I have no interest in starting. There’s no “right way” to approach life, yet we feel so guilty and shameful peeling away from the mold of what’s deemed as “normal.” Let me tell you: it’s just a silly social construct that will likely leave you unfulfilled and misaligned with your true self.
Embrace the complexity of who you are. Given your uniqueness, why do you so desperately want to do everything “their” way? Why do you take others’ opinions so personally and feel like a failure when you don’t meet their expectations – which have nothing to do with you, just so you know – ?
You were not placed on this earth to be a replica of anyone else. You were not created to please the humans around you, including friends and family, because our experiences are all so different. No one has the right to define success and happiness for you, but yourself. You have to be willing to pause for a second, do the work, unlearn old habits, and build new constructive ones. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it, so don’t expect this revelation to occur overnight.
Who you become is an accumulation of the little tweaks, patterns, and thoughts you generate on a daily basis, so don’t underestimate your “small” wins. Those wins will compose your new lifestyle, and you’ll soon find yourself reflecting on days like these unable to recognize the person you currently are. Stop trying to paint a masterpiece in one sitting.
Whether you’re a youngin like me or creeping up in age, I hope you never settle for the things that no longer make you happy. The day that it’s “too late” for you to make changes and grow internally is the day you die. While you’re still here, alive and reading this message, you have the capacity to alter the course of your life. This existence is ultimately what you make of it. You can’t rely on external circumstances to determine the quality of your time on this planet.
I hope you love yourself enough to follow the callings of your heart and recognize the blessings that are specifically aligned for you. Trust that all you desire is already yours, but you must become an enhanced version of yourself to reach them.
I believe that we’re all spiritually connected, so from my heart to yours, I’m sending over so much love and healing. This journey called life can be difficult to navigate sometimes, but that’s what makes it fun. That’s what helps us learn and grow.
I promise that whatever you’re going through right now is armoring you with the skills you need in the next chapter of life. Give yourself grace and fuel up with faith. Only the best is yet to come.
Julia Nadolski, CPT