Whether we like to admit it or not, we carry a lot of the baggage from childhood, past relationships, and our narrow, subjective lens of life. This is an incredible evolutionary mechanism because it makes us vigilant to situations that have hurt us in the past. We’re more aware of red flags, develop a stronger intuition, and become more selective of the people we allow into the guarded chambers of our hearts.
At the same time, this baggage can be a source of emotional self-harm.
If we don’t acknowledge and heal from our traumas and disappointments, we leave a wound open to fester. We feed a wildfire of destructive behavior patterns that each generation fueled with another toss of dry wood – of a lack of awareness and willingness to break the mold.
Let me tell you: breaking the mold is not easy. It comes with judgment from people who claim to love you. It comes with being excluded and perceived as “weird.” It comes with a sense of loneliness and doubt. Until you find a tribe that’s as “weird” as you, it can feel like you simply don’t belong in the essence of your existence.
How do you find that tribe?
When you stay authentic to your true self, refusing to fold into the expectations and criticisms of people who just don’t know any better, you eventually attract that tribe in subtle ways. Spend time in environments that align with your energy, both in-person and online. Oftentimes, you’ll meet individuals who click and stick through the precise alignment of the universe. Be receptive to vibes and be willing to step outside of your comfort zone to reach out to others, too. I can assure you that you won’t be welcomed into a whole new world, greeted by people who validate the complexity of your thoughts and feelings right away.
That’s where most people give up and conform to the comforting discomfort of a reality surrounded by people that don’t support their individuality.
You must persist in fighting for the uniqueness within you. You must continue to express that “weirdness” because I promise there are people who cherish the same values, share common goals, and are yearning to cross paths with someone like you. There is no way you can ever evolve into the most authentic version of yourself if you constantly reject the distinctive parts of yourself that you’ve been conditioned not to accept. That’s how you get boxed into a reality that wasn’t even created by you. That’s how you become a victim of your past instead of a victor that fought for the quality of your future.
If you’re still reading this, it’s because you have something special within you that allows you to relate to these words. It’s because you have a calling to rise like a phoenix above the mediocrity surrounding you.
I urge you: don’t lose sight of who you are just so others will understand. Don’t allocate onto yourself the responsibility of making others comfortable because there’s a safe space for each of us to thrive in our own elements – elements that aren’t all-inclusive.
Lastly, I’m here to remind you that being different doesn’t automatically make you a better person. Being “better” is subjective in and of itself. You’re just different. You require different levels of life to satisfy your different emotional and intellectual needs. You’re the same as everyone else, yet so distinctive in your selfhood. You’re the wild sunflower amongst the obedient tulips.
Remember that the universe made space just for you. You’re meant to engulf that space with your entire being. Each of us has an obligation to become the truest version of ourselves that we can become in this lifetime, but are you willing to go against the odds to flourish in your brilliance?
Julia Nadolski, CPT